There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Randomize
