hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
