Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
