We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
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I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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