I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
