I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
