why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
