season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
