does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
