If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
NoShamevember. You game?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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