So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
