the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
