so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
