Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
