i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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