I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
