sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
