My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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