How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She said her name was "party"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
