Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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