the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize