I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
