i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
