i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
