My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
