I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
