A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
