I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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