i just google imaged poop.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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