dude i'm inner monologue high
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
