we're blogging at a bar
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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