sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
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