i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Drunk is not a location!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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