she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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