the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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