when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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