Are we in a gay sports bar?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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