who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
