Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize