my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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