Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
