I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
