Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize