so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
