I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
A+ Viking dick
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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