Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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