oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
