So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
