Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize