You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
