omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
