...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
