I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
