Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
