this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
