I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
