I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
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I wish they made helmets for livers.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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