you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His hands were made for my vagina.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
