As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
