just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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