it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
