he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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