Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
