yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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